13 things I've taken OUT of my cart

on the delicious (ok also painful) luxury of waiting to act

This may or may not be an IRL photo of my hallway. In my defense most of it is for my parents’ apartment next door but NGL coming home to it scared me straight a little.

Was going to write on what’s in my cart, but that feels tonally off when I see so many in this community focusing on their no buys. I want to be helpful! Plus, I don’t have many active carts myself. Really! (Not that I’m not shopping. As I’ve mentioned, my resolution for January was just to write down all my purchases. I’m not excited to assess that. Stay tuned.)

Lin

of Out of the Bag recently wrote this: “I came very close to making my second purchase of the year—a Lee Mathews shirt that I’d been eyeing for six months appeared on Depop, and it feels like it would be a good buy as I know I’ll wear it regularly. But I’ll wait till at least February, or even March, to decide.”

I really admire that. Waiting is the best thing on so many fronts. Versus what is much more on brand for me: Acting. Breaking up with boyfriends, quitting jobs - I’ve always moved very quickly from feeling to action. A band-aid ripper. A therapist I didn’t appreciate at the time once tried to get me to “live in the luxury of not having to make a decision.”

But when it comes to shopping, waiting can mean heartbreak! The missed handbags I still think about; the boyfriends not so much.

I’ve had that kind of heartbreak quite recently. (Used handbag, not boyfriend.) But I just don’t want to be a person who has a freakout about not obtaining a thing. And in order to not be that person, you have to practice. You have to live in the disappointment and realize life goes on versus distract yourself from the actual pain of life by getting lost in an endless swirl of mastery. “Things” can’t rise to the level of THE BIG THINGS.

So on these I am practicing calm. (Like I said “practicing.”) Here we go: