6 Gems! vol. 31: 6 things I'm doing instead of Black Friday.

And 6 things to do if you're opting in. No judgment. Just here to help.

Pet. Every. Dog. You. Can.

Like some others here,

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and

Sarah Shapiro

for example, I know retail world well, being a long-time vet since my early days at the launch of Rue La La. I still get the icks when I hear the phrase “Black Friday” — it was a time of insane pressure to make numbers by ratcheting the urgency, “disruption” and unfailing intensity through the roof. I can still hear the voices of stakeholders telling the creative team to “plus it up.” BOLD! UNDERLINE! BIGGER!

All these years later, my close friend and partner Susanne will still text me around this time telling me to ask her before buying anything — she can probably find it for less.

Let me ask you a question, though. Is BF something you enjoy (honestly!) or is it stressful, exhausting, guilty? This is not something we NEED. If you’re here, reading this, and you opt out completely, you’ll be fine. If you make people cookies and write a heartfelt card, they will all be happy. And BF is more about deals for ourselves these days. So if it’s feeling like a lot, I invite you opt out with me if you want! Yes really. And here are the 6 things I’m doing to opt out.

1. Giving myself permission to skip it — without FOMO. First up, making the mental switch. It’s ok! “Sales are constant these days, so waiting until November for a mediocre 25% off isn’t exactly a winning strategy.” This is a line from Total Rec’s latest post — let’s utter it like a mantra.

2. Visiting my I “couldn’t live without” graveyard. I took a look through my wish lists, but not the current ones. The historic ones. Things I forced myself to wait on — and they got sold out. Like the black blazer from The Row that Laurel Pantin made seem life-altering. The swishy Prada skirt that zipped up the front. I never got these. Guess what — I’m fine.

3. Paying full price. And paying people who deserve to be paid. You heard it here first. Paying full price is the best way to ensure that you are qualifying every piece that comes into your closet (more on this below). I’d rather have one full priced item I love and more chances to wear it because I DON’T wait for sale, would rather have one item that’s in my size and color of choice, that I’ve thought long and hard about, than multiple “deals.” Also, I want to shop from individuals I care about and pay them what they deserve, from independent makers like my friend Valeria or careful curators of second hand treasures like Capsool, Veblen, Tokio 7, Castanet.

4. Treating my free time like precious vacation time. If you had a precious 30 minutes on a hotel room balcony in Italy, say, would you use it to scroll deals? THIS IS MY FREE TIME. I’m using it to carefully prepare a yogurt with cut fruit on top that nourishes me. To read my book by a sunny window. To sit in a coffee shop observing life. Things like that.

5. Getting endorphins elsewhere. Hugging my SO longer before he leaves. Petting every dog I see. Random spurts of jumping jacks* or one-song dance sessions. Making out.

6. Doing only one thing at a time. It’s not as lofty as it sounds. Yes, I hope to be reading with my phone on DND and my laptop in another room. (I’m picturing

   Grace Atwood
   slathered in some genius skin cream in a Lake robe on her millionth book right now … #goals.) But even if it’s just watching RHONY without scrolling I’ll be kinda proud. Just watching RHONY with my feet up in comfy clothes and actually enjoying it with my whole heart.

*bonus — my trainer Jason says if you want to do an actual little circuit, do jumping jacks, jump squats and mountain climbers. 20 seconds on, 10 seconds off. Go through it 3 times.

And if you are opting into the big BF, here are 6 tips to assist.