6 Gems, vol 41: Maybe Mid Life Is the Best Life

Certainly, there is no time to waste. Also: Love like hell.

It occurred to me today as I was getting on a plane to see

Jalil Johnson

and then have an impromptu visit with my son in Boston, that life is like this: You struggle and have moments of clarity and moments of joy and moments when it kicks the crap out of you.

And then you start making choices. Choices that seem more important in the choosing than where you land. There’s still time. You’re learning to choose things.

And then you look around and you can’t keep choosing. In some ways, maybe, but not as broadly as you once did. Like I am not now joining the Peace Corps. Or becoming a surgeon. You start to run out of runway. The music stops and you grab your chair.

And then you just, I think, if you are fortunate enough to be safe, to be fed, you stay in one place and try and get happier. It starts to be fixed and ok maybe that’s good, because you like it here. You can stretch (you have to!) but from a baseline. And there’s no pressure to follow along, find the next thing. There’s this sense of - “I’m here, I’m in it.”

Maybe midlife is the best life. Like REM said (and I am pretty sure REM hated their own hit song, but I appreciate the sentiment nonetheless): “stand in the place where you are.”

The joints have not failed us (mostly). We can stand, whether literally or not. We can stand for something. And act. And love. And feel our way forward. But we know enough not to waste any time.

Thank you for standing here with me. This week (but also all weeks), give yourself some love.

Onto 6 Gems, your midweek treat.