ditch holiday b.s., find joy

11 rewrites (including holiday dressing without shopping)

I’m a happy person, and I am happy and fortunate in my life right now, all things considered. But I’m an emotional person. Which means - well, as my ex used to say “the highs are so high and the lows are so low.”

As I start writing this, we’re going to Boston to be with our son for the anniversary of his father’s death. And in the Uber on the way there, I start speaking directly to my ex, like “Why couldn’t you live longer?” And also, “I miss you. I didn’t want to stay married — but I miss you being in the world.”

Oh sh*t. I can go down the bell jar from there. And then we’re at the airport.

We’re walking the length of it, the gate is 50 ... It’s as far away as that sounds. And walking that length it occurs to me: I’m going to change my attitude on this walk. I don’t have to be beholden to the traditional holiday grumbles. By the time I get to the gate, I’m going to quit sliding and find some [f*cking G-d dammed] JOY.

Also also, I’m going to create a how-to on it. It’s right here.