Hey, M. Park

Meet Coco Park, writer/content creator @_ilefoka_ and @thebeautywolf, from the proud Choctaw Nation of Oklahoma.

A note - I am not using a paywall here because this post references important issues that I believe are good to share as widely as possible. I ask that you please help me by doing just that! Warmly, Rachel.

I count this conversation as one of the unexpected moments that makes me feel certain that I’m meant to be doing this. It started on IG when I was having a conversation that used the word “tribe” very loosely — referring to types of style and the kinds of groups it creates. And a few folks “called me in” — so tenderly! — to suggest that I look at this word and its implications for Native people. The tenor of being called in was so caring that far from feeling defensive, I felt like I wanted to soak up as much learning as possible. I read everything that was sent my way and more. And after discovering the writer/creator Coco Park in the process, and her very cool style sensibility, I wanted to connect and share her with you! (BTW, I had to overcome a fear in order to befriend her: At age 46, she has never tasted coffee. This is deeply concerning, obviously. But we pressed on.)

Hey Mrs. Solomon: How would you describe your style DNA?

Coco Park: My style was born of being an utterly fashion-obsessed kid in rural Oklahoma with a subscription to Harper's and Vogue with only the local thrift stores to relentlessly comb over to recreate the editorial looks I'd paper my walls with instead of rock band posters. I'd say it's modern and chill and a little purposely fucked up … As an aside, I could also use the word “heritage” but that word has two different meanings for me as someone with a mixed heritage. If we're speaking of my dad's 100% English could not be more WASP-y side then yeah, I often find myself dressing like 1980s Morrissey in a tweed blazer with a twist, but also heritage for me is the rich traditional mix from my mother's side too.

A garment Coco references, story/credits here

HMS: How does being a Native person -- from the proud Choctaw Nation of Oklahoma! -- influence what you wear?

CP: I am so into our pre-settler clothing; it's so incredible, I wish it were socially acceptable to be my daily uniform. The women wore gorgeous functional yet visually stunning pieces and that really speaks to me in modern times. They'd wear these incredible buckskin wrap skirts (vlhkuna) and if it were colder they'd wear them with a jaw-dropping turkey feather mantel called a kasmo [*above, and and check out this modern version here]. Not to mention all the wonderful textiles, meaningful patterns, and beautiful beadwork. Post-colonization our traditional clothing was based on the calico prairie dresses the settlers wore, and I'm not such a big fan of the current modern dress as they're kind of a CP nightmare, bless them [ed. note: CP = Creative Pragmatist in Tibi speak; Tibi put us in each others’ orbit]. However, I really love to take certain elements from Choctaw beadwork and mix them into my outfits where I can. Also, I hate to lean into pan-Indian stereotypes but I can't deny that if it has fringe, leather, or feathers - I lowkey want it and will often work them into my CP shapes for a really cool contrast. I dislike bohemian stuff, though, which is where you find a lot of that, so it's always a challenge for me to find pieces with those elements that are more modern. 

HMS: Are there things that non-Native people wear that feel inappropriately "borrowed" to you? Or do you see it as homage - or something else? For example, I visited Arizona and went to the Heard Museum, and then purchased a very big turquoise ring, signed Gee. How would you view my wearing this?

CP: I've been asked this question a lot, and I love hearing it because it means people are thinking and being considerate! I feel that as long as the objects are not ceremonial, and they were made by actual Native artisans, then please have at it and show that beauty to the world. Tell people where you got it who made it and why you love it!  I am constantly promoting Choctaw beadwork to people because it's so beautiful and I'd love to see it celebrated globally. There's an artist named Holly Nolan who I just adore from the Mowa band of Choctaw. She owns a jewelry brand called Lillie Nell — and what I especially love aside from how freaking cool every earring is is that each design pays homage to something significant in Choctaw culture. I wore her Sinti (snake) earrings to fashion week last year and got many comments and compliments, they're so good people! I'd be thrilled to see these earrings out amongst my fellow fashion folks of all flavors! I especially love the Tanchi (corn) and Hishi (feather) styles and think they work really well with CP-leaning styles. 

HMS: How did you become a beauty blogger/author?

CP: By total accident. I have always had a compulsion to share my obsessions with my friends. At the time it was the beginning of the K-Wave for beauty. My husband is Korean-American from NYC and when he took me back home to meet the parents I found a wonderland of Korean skincare and beauty products I'd never seen or even heard about. I trained as an esthetician 1000 years ago on a whim so self-care has always been a part of me - joining interior design and fashion to make up the fabric of my world. Anyway, I was one of the first English language bloggers writing about K-Beauty and so a blog I started to answer my friend's questions about products accidentally took off. That led to me meeting the other OG bloggers of the day and being pulled into co-authoring a book called Korean Beauty Secrets with the incredible Kerry Thompson formerly of a blog called Skin & Tonics. There was a lot of weird gatekeeping at the time and we wanted to show that K-Beauty is just beauty and was wonderful for all. So I blogged, co-authored the book, and then pivoted into beauty/fashion journalism for a while. From there, someone decided I was an expert so I'd be interviewed for stories by Vogue and other major publications. The little girl from Oklahoma inside of me has never gotten over that. That being said, I'm notoriously shy so I slowly pulled back from that world and entered the faceless corporate one. I now work in fashion marketing where I can be an anonymous little armadillo which is way more my speed! 

Coco and her hub, who drinks coffee.

HMS: Many of my readers are at some point in a Tibi addiction cycle. Will you talk about your Tibi connection, purchases, wish list (if any), and where you are in this cycle?

CP: I'm in a weird place with Tibi in that I had built my core wardrobe and was totally satiated and then a long illness struck that led to a drastic weight loss. I went from a size 8 to a 6  and then drastically dropped to a 00 with nothing in between. Tibi was the basis of my fashion building blocks and I lost everything I loved. After losing all my meticulously curated WOFs, I had to start over again. I was content before but I've had to jump back in the cycle of obsessively trying to source the older pieces I loved and poring over the new collections to fill all of the many gaps. I've recently got a pretty good little foundation starting again so I've just now been able to start looking to other brands and even thrifting to add some flavor to my Tibi soup again. 

HMS: Please describe a typical day in your life and what you generally wear as a day to day uniform(s).

CP: Since I've been ill I've gone back to freelance where I'm fortunate enough to work from home again. In all honesty, lately, I don't get 'dressed dressed' unless I'm leaving the house - in which case I'll go all out. I spent a lot of time bedbound so I've been leaning heavily on easy comfortable basics that are versatile and do a lot to make me look like I'm somewhat put together. Lots of elevated sweatshirt materials with interesting cuts, comfy cashmere pieces, and anything that can easily go from bed to under a blazer for online meetings. It's a hard ask from clothing but I've managed to find pieces that do it. Also keep in mind I'm in Montreal Quebec, so a good 8 months out of the year it's an icy hellhole, and all our outfits are covered by giant down puffers and snowboots! Ask me again in summer because that's when I'll come alive again. 

HMS: We met when you lovingly called me in on my casual use of the word “tribe” -- I don't want to put the burden on you to educate. But I want to give you the mic to share anything you'd like on matters like this one.

CP: Yes! It was all love! …The word is so heavily associated with Native Americans and has inextricable connotations but for a lot of us, we don't even use “tribe’ to describe our communities. We say nations. When people ask what "tribe" I am I am always careful to reply "I'm an enrolled citizen of the Choctaw Nation of Oklahoma." Once when I was younger an elder admonished me for saying “tribe” — he said "That's the white man's word for us, we are nations." I think people forget that. For example, we have a whole independently elected government for my nation including the chief. And when I say I'm a citizen of the Choctaw Nation I mean it. I have an ID card, I vote, and I participate in anything I'm able to even though I now live in another country and way outside of our nation's boundaries. 

HMS: What's your favorite outfit RN and/or most heavily in rotation pieces?

CP: If I was back to normal it would be a lot of sleek lines with an interestingly cut denim or skirt and a very funky shoe. That's my favorite place to be. I fell in love with the Woodward sandal last year and bought it as soon as it came out. I find every excuse I can to wear them now. My daughter thinks they look like garbage bag material and my husband thinks they look like astroturf. They're both right and that's why I love those shoes. Like I said, I like things that are a little fucked up! I've also worn the [Tibi] compact cashmere sweaters, Giselle shirts, and Marlon blazers to death lately. They're camera-ready for meetings and I can throw on some denim or an easy skirt and go pick up my kids from the bus stop without looking like I'm trying too hard or not trying hard enough! 

HMS: Anything on your wishlist RN?

CP: I've been obsessing over those Dries tassel loafers (and here and here) because hello, fringe, I can't say no. Especially the suede ones because they remind me of traditional pintuck moccasins with a twist. Also, I haven't eaten a proper carb in 7 months so that gorgeous fringe looks like fresh pasta calling out to me. Since I've been rebuilding my wardrobe from scratch there are some really basic things like denim jackets that I desperately need and no longer have. My eyes are firmly on this Christian Wijnants one with sleeves that totally remind me of the leg on the Tibi Sid jeans. No one buy my size please, it already sold out on Kickpleat lol. 

HMS: Hopefully at this point we all understand at least a little about the harms done to Native people and left unspoken in mainstream America storytelling -- and we can change our language. Are there other ways you can think of to aid in a reparations effort -- any organizations that you particularly find helpful and in need of contributions?

CP: As recently as the mid-1990's I was punished in school for speaking Choctaw with friends. None of the prejudice and harm is ancient history. But that being said, actual history is not even an afterthought for most people. Get to know the history of the land you occupy and who it actually belongs to. I'm from Oklahoma but even my people aren't historically from there, my direct ancestors are genocide survivors who were made to walk over on The Trail of Tears all the way from Mississippi. That's only 5 generations away from mine, that is achingly recent to me. Even though I grew up in Oklahoma the state with one of the most Native Americans per capita, you'd think there was at least a cursory true history of Native Americans being taught, but no, we learned next to nothing in school aside from a very sanitized history at best, and outright lies at worst, all in a very truncated narrative that favored the settlers. For the Choctaw in particular, so much of our history was purposely wiped from the record in the name of assimilation, so even if you're a citizen, there's so much you'll never know. I could go on and on about our lost traditions, tattooing, clothing, celebrations, and religion. Even at my age, I'm still learning new things about the old ways. Make an effort to educate yourself and I promise, it'll be a rich and fascinating journey! Also, remember if you're in the Americas you are always standing on Native land, so feel free to donate or volunteer with local Native initiatives and 'pay your rent' as it were :) 

Find Coco Park, content specialist/copywriter on IG @_ilefoka_ (clothing content - ilefoka means clothing) and @thebeautywolf for skincare and makeup content.

If you shop the shoe links in this story I may make a small amount from the brand. Also, I am working to figure out how best to support the Choctaw Nation of Oklahoma, but didn’t have an answer at the time of publication. I will update when I do!