Hi, my name is Rachel + I bought 25 (ish) things in January.

I planned to write this Feb 1. It's time to face the music.

Trigger warning: If you’re repulsed by a 53 year old buying lots of things while the world falls apart, I suggest that you skip this one. And I feel somehow that I owe you — and the world? — an apology. (Also, mom, should these be the little dashes?)

Me to mom, over coffee today: “Now I have to write down everything I bought in January for my newsletter.”

Mom: “I thought you were having a ‘no shopping.’”

Me: “NO, mommmmmm! I’m not doing that! Other people are. I’m not!”

Yeah, I don’t sound defensive, do I? Actual age: 53. Behavioral age, 13. The second anyone tells me not to shop, I feel all constrained/rebellious vs. exploratory, curious, open.

But I know there is something there, in spite of my desire to avoid it. There is something about at least looking critically at one’s shopping habits. Facing the fears.

I didn’t do a no-shop. I just waded in with this idea of recording everything I bought for a month. And I’ve been dreading looking at it and processing my takeaways.

So taking a deep breath. Please be kind. A lot of them are socks.