"My Style is Changing"

your style evolution how-to guide is here

Since the pandemic, I think, there’s been so much attention paid to finding your style DNA, on Allison Bornstein and Tibi’s style classes and in Trinny Woodall’s new book and beyond. And helping women find their style DNA has become my side hustle; I use the same approach I use for brands in my full-time work.

But what happens after you nail your DNA? Of course it’s about putting it into practice. And maybe that’s it. For me, that was it for a long time.

But at some point, you may feel like it’s time to evolve.

It took a little time but I knew I was ready to. So I thought I’d cover what to do when you sense you need a change.

A few signs it’s evolution time. Tune in.

• You feel a disconnect between your self and your clothes.

• It’s not working. And often you feel like it’s not one thing, it’s everything. More often than ever before.

• The things you like yourself in surprise you.

• You see someone dressing very differently and think - “that’s what I wish I were wearing” or even, “that’s how I want to feel.”

Know your DNA, or create it. To evolve your style DNA, you have to decide where you want to go, and that means some taking stock of where you are or were. If you have an existing DNA, you probably know it by heart. But revisit it, word by word, and ask yourself if each adjective is still feeling right for you. Is this DNA still a useful tool? You don’t have to do anything ATM, you’re just noodling. But try putting the words on paper with arrows next to them and scribbling some notes to yourself about where you might take each word.

Some of my early notes looked like this:

MODERN → SCULPTURAL?

APPROACHABLE → EASY

HERITAGE → GROWN UP

MIAMI → ?

If you don’t have an existing Style DNA, don’t do one for your existing style. Instead try creating a DNA that is aspirational (what you want your style to be and what it sometimes but not always is), either with me, or on your own, or with a friend — here’s a how-to.

Put your DNA adjectives down on paper, or in Notes if that’s what you like. They will be a work in progress as the evolution progresses.

If you do have an existing DNA, remember that you can use it to achieve different feelings. Before deciding to change it, be sure you’ve tried each of these:

• Staying within your words but leaning harder into one of your adjectives (for example, if I keep feeling dowdy, I might lean harder into modern, forgoing some of my preppier/heritage moments.

• Dressing in monochrome for a few days and seeing how it makes you feel.

• Dipping more into color or absence of color (whichever you’re less inclined toward) for a week and seeing how that makes you feel.

• Using LMAs to see if you just need some oomph, some modernity overall, within your existing DNA.

Tune in to the feelings. While playing around with all of the above and getting dressed generally when things feel uncertain, tune into how you feel in general, how you feel in your clothes, and the marriage of the two. You’re tuning into the presence or absence of Lofted Settledness. Selfies help. Ask how you felt in that. Add it all to your written DNA/Notes.

If you’re going through an emotional time, probe whether that’s the cause of this shift. I have been dealing with my father’s health issues (and here) and other things. So the yearning for comfort and function and ease, the loss of desire to shine and be bold, could just be temporary. So I gave it time.

Immediately after an outfit has made you feel good or bad, re-look at your DNA. Play detective. Did you blow off your adjectives? Did that help or hurt your style situation? Add to your DNA/Notes.

Try to enjoy the process. The steps above can take awhile. You’re discovering things about your style and yourself. You’ll go forwards and backwards, feel wrong and feel right. It’s ok, it’s clothes; there’s no one on an operating table. Not in this. For me it looked like:

• Pre evolution. AHA! I finally know my DNA: Modern, Approachable, Heritage, Miami. This makes so much sense and brings together all these different sides of who I am.

• Then: I am feeling so good in some of my more mannish, heritage pieces, I want to dress like my dad, I can lean into this Heritage side more.

• I am feeling less drawn to prints and brights and color.

• I feel out of sorts a little.

• I love this moment of being in a black tee and white crispy skirt, the ease of it. Why? Is this even me?

• I feel ridiculous sometimes. Like — too dolled up. Or too attention-grabbing.

• I love function; that makes me feel so good.

• I am only wearing monochrome or tonal looks - until maybe forever?

• I love the solve of all one color together. It feels like an answer.

• It’s not the whole answer. It’s not just about all one color.

• I’m expanding to all neutrals. I like that too.

• It’s more than that.

• I am more interested in shapes than ever before. I keep thinking of the word “sculptural.”

• Am I still Miami? What does that look like now?

Make a rack or a section of the pieces that feel good. Seeing what patterns you see. When that gets full, switch it up and make the rack where you put things that aren’t feeling right.

While you play and observe, keep adjusting. You’ll know when it’s right. Here’s how I adjusted my working DNA, and I definitely had a yesssss moment when I got here.

MODERN → This word stays. But instead of my interpreting it mostly as “right now” pieces, I want it to be more about SCULPTURAL. That’s feeling really good.

APPROACHABLE → EASY. This word changes. What’s feeling like me is still not “chill” but also it’s not about looking relaxed or looking like someone you’d want to talk to. It’s about an emphasis on function and de-emphasis on fussy. Less tricky.

HERITAGE → GROWN UP. It’s not quite “sophisticated.” But I want to dress like a grown up. It feels right to me right now. Less playful, funny, silly, less overtly nostalgic. It still can be fun!

MIAMI → I still love this word. It’s the essence of who I am! But rather than interpreting it as BOLD and OUT THERE, I am interpreting it as more “unexpected” and “with a twist” - the full-of-surprises part of Miami.

Remember these words are a tool for you. So I have one way I do it that works for me and my clients. You can have a completely different way that works for you.

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Ok … so hopefully the above helped, but I also thought some visuals would be a good guide. Plus I get so excited for outfit images on Substack! And since as ever I am trying to give value here, I compiled some that I think illustrate well but are also new and not shared on IG. (After the first two, they get better.)