Seeing the Oscars differently this year

My 5 winners: those who look and feel themselves

I’ve watched the Oscars since forever. Since Joan’s first Oscars, so 1994 at least, but longer; I remember a a kid we’d all stay up.

I used to love Joan’s everything. Harshness included. It made her real.

Over time, my admiration for Joan didn’t fade, but it morphed. Into admiration for the woman who overcame such pain, who wrote her own jokes and made her own fortune and family.

I once loved critiquing red carpet fashion. But that changed too. Where once I thought it was harmless fun to groan and call a dress “tacky” or “figure skater-y” or “something I made in home ec” or whatever (and still, I think these things in my head and am training myself to move along), I changed.

You know how Madeline Albright said, “There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women?” I came to feel that there’s a special place in hell for women who shit on other women. And also, that being a dick, even when it’s funny, is ultimately eroding. I am a work in progress. But I don’t want to be a dick. Anyway, I already wrote about that here, but I think it’s foundational. This was the first award show I watched since learning that I feel this way.

So.

I watched the Oscars this year and here’s how I got to thinking about it.

(1) I’m not G-d’s gift to fashion. And fashion is subjective. Who am I (or anyone, IMO) to “not like” this or that, and who cares, and how is that additive to anything?

(2) But I love seeing and considering fashion, the joy if it. Can I do that without reducing everything “like” and “hate”?

(3) When I travel, and consider things I see, I think about what moves me. What makes me think. But also sheer beauty. The sunset view from a hotel bar is sheer beauty. I guess, though, that in a way sheer beauty is also moving.

(4) What I’m really into right now, both in my work and in my life, is something generally called Brand DNA, the very essence of a thing. At my work, Honor Code Creative, we “do a DNA” with the client as a starting place, foundation and filter. It’s a framework of 3-5 adjectives and definition around them that’s true but also aspirational; it gets them to the essence of who you they want to be as a brand. And then we can judge creative and other elements, not by considering “like” or “not like” but “on brand” or “off brand.”

(5) Do you know that Yeats poem, the one with the line “but one man loved the pilgrim soul in you”? It haunts me forever, this line. Because we all want to be seen and loved for our essence, our “pilgrim soul.” We want to be known. To me the most beautiful people, those I cherish and respect, are knowable. They know their own pilgrim soul. And they show it. What we wear is one way of showing it.

(6) Recently, I launched a side project that crystallizes something I have already done for friends, which is creating a personal style version of a brand DNA. I wrestled and experimented with it a lot on my own first. You may have seen some of that here or here or here.

(7) And I’ve come to realize that what I really love is when someone knows their own essence and shows it in their clothes. (I’ve started trying to notice these moments when I feel them or see them with #knowyourself #showyourself on IG.)

And (8) this also makes a really interesting lens for looking at Oscar fashion.

I realize the looks I responded to the most — were the #knowyourself #showyourself ones, looks that were more than looks but declarations of self in some way. Looks that made me feel something. Looks that interested my eye because I saw this person and admired them for for their willingness to seek themself and share themself. I did a quick hit assessment of the DNA of each, and it was interesting that every one of my picks included the pillar “Modern.” There is a vulnerability, I think, in willingness to try new things, that is inherently beautiful. (All shots via vogue.com here.)

I gasped. I don’t know that I have to say a word. But her DNA is probably something like True, Heritage, Modern, Refined.

Young and smart and fresh and she is OUT THERE, touching life. She made me smile and clap. She was giddy, throwing that leg out. DNA: Alive, Real, Chill, Modern.

She asked Prada to add the mandarin collar but also referenced their ‘97 collection to show precedent for her ask. DNA: Thoughtful. Established. Modern. Respectful.

Another young one, full of the best kind of swagger. Warm and kind. Bubbling over with excitement. And picked something so interesting to look at but with meaning, something that never made him victim-y. DNA: Modern. Playful. Generous. Sharp.

This was the night I saw her as a grown up woman. A woman in love. Radiating womanly confidence and a super hero quality, which fits. DNA: Confident. Committed. Powerful. Modern.

And I can’t leave this one out. Because this made me feel something. (DNA: Unexpected, Authentic, Rooted, Strong, Modern.) I actually grabbed for my chest when the camera zoomed in and I could see a remnant ring of lipstick on the inside of Gaga’s mouth, showing me that she’d wiped the makeup off from her (also amazing) red carpet look. The combined effect of the Gaga we know, then this intimate humanity, this stripped down version, this song, voice, moment. It was perfectly chosen. It showed us her pilgrim soul.