Wear your neverworns*. A how-to guide.

Everything I wore this week. And 7 takeaways on wearing those problem children.

Liana Satenstein

has coined and brought fully to life a term that will now never leave my own lexicon. The Neverworn. It makes sense — as my manager at Ralph Lauren once said, “People don’t buy clothes. They buy stories.” We were not selling a white sneaker with yellow and naxy trim and a Polo patch at the heel. We were selling “the dream of slinging your sneakers over your shoulder when you pull up to the beach in your vintage MG.” (She should have been a writer.)

We buy things for a whole host of reasons other than “this will suit me and my real life.” But dreams are elusive. (Maybe vintage Junya is too, but it’s easier to hold.) And then it comes time to wear those dreams. Or risk having them stare at you from your closet, day after day.

Do not let them become the boss of you!

I challenged myself (and you) to get 5 out and face the fears. Let’s start with the 7 key takeaways that really help.

First, the takeaways.

1. Wear things early; rip off the band aid. Of course, “don’t have them in the first place” is the easiest way to deal with the Neverworns problem. If you have any misgivings, send it back if and while you can. Listen to that voice in your heart that’s telling you it’s not quite right, even if it’s a pain in the ass to return. And if you like something, wearing it immediately starts to mesh it into your wardrobe.

   Xue
   has suggested a practice of wearing one new item each day.

2. Know went to fold them. We all do make mistakes, but you make them a lot bigger when you refuse to let go because you feel guilty. Don’t let something become what I call a Money Pit — where you keep altering it all and altering it, maybe even buying something else to make it work. Let it go early when it has its best value and before you give it too much mental space.

3. Always start out pairing a Neverworn with a Security Blanket, those pieces you go to over and over that make you feel quintessentially you. You will automatically feel more like yourself.

4. Add what’s missing. When adding one more thing to this combination of Neverworn and Security Blanket, think about what’s vexing about the Neverworn and ascribe an adjective to it. Then pull something in it’s antonym ala Tibi Style Class. “I worry that it looks like a doily.” Ok it’s maybe too “lady” or “delicate.” Add something “masc” or “tough.”

5. Reconsider what it is. An

   Allison Bornstein
   trick is wear it like what it is. What is it at its core? Finish this sentence: “Come on it’s just a _____” The genie pants are just a pair of khaki pants. The blazer with the drape back is just an oversized summer blazer. The leather sandals are just a fancy pair of flip-flops, etc. Then wear it as you often wear that thing.

6. Double down on what troubles you! Kinda like just like we did with Prep Week, adding more seersucker to seersucker to surface the playfulness.

7. Don’t overreact to a little nudity or its adjacency. A lot of times something goes unworn because of underpinnings or sexy misgivings. It makes us self-conscious because you’re gonna see a bra strap. You’re gonna see underwear or whatever. There’s a big slit up the back. But there’s a reason why you bought that thing. Maybe you’re craving a little sexiness; there’s nothing wrong with that. Don’t run from it. I still maintain that a little sexiness looks less desperate when you get older and/or the context is different than when you’re in a bar at age 22. Also, most of this can be solved with either a boy short or long button up, tucked in or tied around the waist or shoulders.

So here’s how my own week in Neverworns went:

MONDAY

The Neverworn: Genie Pants (maybe more like a not-yet worn; they are pretty new)

What:

• Tibi Charlie shirt (and other blue stripes)

• Aflalo genie pants (I am in a medium — and they are heaven) and some more good options

• Papal purple socks that

  laura reilly
  turned me on to

• Oversized cowrie necklace from my friend Susanne (our shell necklace curation is updated!)

• Jamie Haller 2-buckle sandals (and additional good options

• Secondhand menswear plaid linen blazer from Castanet (options here)

Why: Having a normal workday; lots of writing, etc. And a lot of walking. Here I just thought of how I might wear a pair of khaki regular pants, rather than trying to make a whole LOOK, which felt intimidating. The Tibi shirt is a Security Blanket. The socks and necklace kept me from feeling too prepped out.

Outcome: Lofted Settledness.

TUESDAY

side note - I really like the fit of this top

What:

• Vuori pants + tank

• Hat influenced by

  Jalil Johnson
  from Old Jewish Men

• Drole Monsieur socks (this way to colorful socks and socks with words)

• and later — Jalil’s sweatshirt too (avail to subscribers only - but why would you NOT be subscribed?

Why: My friend Leslie said she never works out in shorts OR leggings. I needed to dig deeper. So I went to Vuori and picked up a few things to try, also this tank because I am SO HOT working out, I’m dying. I did love these pants! My initial thought was I’d cut them at the knee after trying them once. But my trainer said he couldn’t see my feet well enough so I stuck them in the socks — and then I really liked that. It made me happy. So do I still cut them? Anyway, I planned to change, etc. But instead added the sweatshirt and marinated all day, working + running a few errands and not showering until before bed.

Outcome: Loved! Can it be Lofted when it’s this jumbled? I don’t know but it was certainly close. Socks, I tell you. Also Jalil!

WEDNESDAY

The Neverworn: Vita Kin skirt (I once bought berries in it - that’s it)

What:

• Donni pop shirt — more yellow button-ups we like

• Vita Kin skirt + more good light skirts with transparent elements

• Tibi gold Mikhail ballets — and more metallic options

• Navy Kule cotton cardigan — favorite cotton cardigans

Why: Working and a long walk outdoors. I think this skirt felt alien to me because it makes me think - “bohemian” and even “mom.” So I wanted to put it with crisp, prep, modern and dad. Adding these prep colors and the crisp stripe and the modern gold shoe did it for me. And also taking the embellishment and playing with it by folding in MORE … stripes, embellished bag, multiple colors.

Outcome: Lofted Settledness

Later

The Neverworn: New (to me) secondhand men’s shirt by The Row from Castanet

• Soeur x Leandra shorts — current favorite long shorts

• Tibi sandals — TTS and walked quite a few blocks! Lemon drop approved! and other colorful sandals we love rn

• the row mens khaki button-up - best khaki button-ups atm

Why: Went on a father-daughter date night at a cool kids’ bar!

Outcome: Lofted Settledness.

THURSDAY

am workout

What’s important (I mean, besides

Jalil Johnson

‘s hat!) is that these are great Ring 3 leggings, silky smooth, and I would wear them like Rose (@thecreativeclassicist) peeking out under a dress or skirt to add interest, or like pants:

I played with this for a sec and loved it. I may get a second pair and cut them off.

The Neverworn: secondhand Junya Watabe fruit shirt, worn once for an hour

What:

• Callas Milano skirt — but I shortened it to the knee- here are other favorites

• Sperry denim shoes and other fave denim shoes - denim shoes are fun … I plan on doing more denim on denim on denim as we roll through summer.

• Secondhand Junya Watanabe for Comme des garcons shirt — and a curated selection of printed modernist unexpected shirts

Why: Working and then meeting my son to have dinner at a little wine bar next door to me where the food is great and the vibe is low key. I think what I struggle with is maybe will this shirt look “childlike” and just keeping it all in the same color family helped me feel more sophistication.

Outcome: Lofted Settledness.

FRIDAY

The Neverworn: New to me oversized Pushbutton blazer with back panel

What:

• Cream LONOCO pants

• Marc Jacobs “the” tee and more simple graphic tees

• Thin black braided belt (secondhand Bottega - ignore size, it hooks anywhere - but it doesn’t have to be Bottega)

• Jelly sandal faves here (mine are secondhand Stuart Weitzman)

Why: Headed to NYC wanted comfortable textures and layers for the train ride. Similar to the above the white jacket is a lot, has lots of detail, putting it with more white/ivory calms it and makes it feel less jarring.

Outcome: Lofted Settledness.

Friday night

Really hard to see! Shows better here.

What:

• Cream Lonoco pants (as above)

• Tibi sandals

• Old Tibi sleeveless burgundy mock neck so sold out but I am loving my Rowan and would def go for this

• Secondhand Lemaire nylon-y blazer like this - you could also do this from Tibi

• Tibi sweater at waist — Boboli has M if you need it

• Tory Burch earrings (and other options)

Why: We went to Junsik, a multi course Korean experience. On a hot as b*lls summer night. I wanted to look respectful of the experience. I love an unlined blazer for this reason. And the earrings. They let a sleeveless tee be respectful.

Outcome: Lofted Settledness.

SATURDAY

What:

• Green tie die silk dress from a small shop in Miami, but lots of things can work like this … you want a long dress with some interest and no cling! Like these.

• Rowan washed black tee (from The Package Room)

• Secondhand Escada necklace

• Tibi Harry bootie

• Gucci tote

• Secondhand Lemaire blazer (alts above)

Why: Met my friend Rose for lunch with her S/O, followed by a few hours of impromptu shopping at the Dover Street Market sale. The top of this dress is super sexy and not very me. But I love the hang of it and low key gestalt with a tee and the booties, functioning for me as brightness and like a high top sneaker but cooler. This is a kind of uniform, this loose femme dress with a tee over. I felt so happy, seeing my friend!

Outcome: Lofted Settledness.

SUNDAY

AM

What:

• Ralph Lipschitz hat inspired by

  Jalil Johnson

• Martini boob tee (graphic tees this way)

• Jellies as above

• Tibi Winslow “jeans” — getting some questions about size. do not size down. You lose the joy! Lots of sizes gone, more in the blue here.

• Tibi Charlie (sold out). More stripes here.

Why: No time to shower, we wanted to get to a bakery. Ended up going to the Noguchi Museum too. In spite of being dirty, I felt freaking fantastic. Winslows, damnit.

Outcome: Lofted Settledness.

Sunday later, to a low key pasta dinner in upstairs at Roscioli, the upstairs casual part, tiny tables surrounded by product.

• Comme Si silk bermudas

• Prada mens striped top

• Tibi sweater at waist — Boboli has M if you need it

• Tibi sandals

• Arc cuff

Outcome: Felt fine, travel bickering. In no mood. Maybe would have been good with a sock. Some moments are like that. Can always dress again (and try again) in the morning.

OUTFIT PLANNING

This week: Dresses — dressed up and dressed down. Catch Outfit Planning here.

Next week: Shapes. I am inspired by Noguchi. I am inspired by my friend Dea. Dressing to respect shapes. The shapes of clothes. The shape of the body. Letting shapes star. I think it will be different. And open to interpretation. More to come.

Let’s get dressed.

XOXO,

Rachel

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Notes:

1. I am using affiliate links, and I do not use them lightly. In fact here’s a whole post on it. Thank you for using these links to shop. Every little bit helps!

2. My Market editor Wendy and I are in limited, special, and really particular ways working with a select group of partners and accepting gifts in order to inform you better, especially around attainably priced brands and pieces. Here’s something on that.

3. We are also starting to get promo codes from brands, and here’s an updated list; be sure and check weekly before purchasing. I grew up shopping Filenes Basement. Your girl loves a discount:

CLOTHES

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SHOES

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