What I wore all week: A little sun, a little sorrow. 15 looks. 8 speed takeaways.

Bruce Meets Girl

Hello, sunshine.

My first full week back in MIA did so much for my soul. Just being in these surroundings changes everything for me so palpably. And then my parents arrived, and all of the ease and inside jokes and chances to show them all the things we love.

But of course, I’m still grieving, and I’m watching and listening when it comes to my son, my moods rising and falling. The times when I don’t hear from him or when I feel I say or do the wrong thing, when I mother differently than I’d like, when I don’t follow the coaching or understand what’s going on — those times can feel like a punch no one saw coming. Even though, of course, we should have known. It’s not a straight line.

I was glad to have Bruce leading the way. His winking swagger. Today, his close knit family ralllying around him. I need all that and more. Onto the clothes.

If you are outfit planning with me this week, here’s the planning session on IG; theme is also at the bottom of this newsletter.

Your speed takeaways from the week past:

• we have

  Kelly Williams
  “sandwich approach” to friction dressing, to which I add this: all casual all tonal + pop of refinement. The color keeps things from feeling disjointed while you mix your ultra casual pieces with a sliver of polish

• layering over denim w/sheer — layering a dress over denim often feels bulky — but not when the layer is sheer and you see denim details versus bulges of fabric

• black and white shoe — pretty much whenever I don’t know what shoe, it’s a black/white flat mary jane or black and white oxford that does the trick with prints, neutrals, solids, all of it.

• the sandwich debate — there’s something fun about a skirt and a short nylon where you see leg - like a playful wrong. But it does break the line making it harder for the eye to rest. Hmm. Pick your poison.

• I am enjoying something about “wrong” darks and lights, like in the traditionally “wrong order” — gold shoe/black sock, white shoe/very dark gray sock, even the double black elements against the white skirt

• when you’re doing something fun, adding more (and more) fun makes it intentional, as with a Tibi “ton” color/wise. It will also make people smile, which will make you feel something. It can be a continuous loop.

• it can be helpful to breakdown what you want to feel like you’re wearing — like “pajamas” or “flannel shirt” or “tent dress” and then approximating that feeling with situation-appropriate pieces

• don’t forget “Domino Dressing” a cousin of outfit repeating. Pick up on something you liked the day before and go from there

MONDAY

What: Tibi Stella chinos (I sized up). Prada Collapse sneakers. Loewe sleeveless tie sweater (been searching for one everywhere — I do like the looks of this as a comp). Emme Parsons Yo Yo belt. Secondhand men’s Margiela denim jacket from Veblen (there’s ONE left of this Acne one, which is a lot less $$$). Margiela 5AC (the tattoos were an exclusive - but here is the bag w/o).

Why: I love having something like the purple so that cold weather isn’t ALL gray and khaki etc. The purple sweater and tan pant would be a natural pairing for me with the leopard. Adding in the yellow hooded tee (and the sock and shacket, actually) gave it a lot more dimension.

Outcome: I felt good in this. I love it in pictures. In real life, I don’t know. The jacket and pants are both boxy. Although the shoe is slim in its lines, it was similar in note to the rest. When I tried this on Sunday night, I had it with my 2 color mary janes, and I think that would have been good to stay with, that friction. I usually lean into

Kelly Williams

“sandwich theory” discussion — top vibe/middle vibe/return to same vibe as the top. Even though I use it as a gray sweatshirt, the pussy bow detail is big, and I think a nod to that lady vibe in the shoe was stronger.

TUESDAY

What: Miu Miu jeans (a gift!) — this is a great looking comp, seems so sustainable, personal + cool. And then there are these, which my mom owns and wears constantly, made of a light sweatpant material (!). And LOUISE!

Why: I was channeling Bruce. And in particular this image where he wore a bomber and jeans, a reddish brown belt. He had a white tee, but that contrast felt too jarring, so I went to a gray tee, which I often do. And then the olive-y bag to soften the contrast more; it’s one of those ring 3 colors, and it also luxes anything up. Learning from the day before, I wanted the contrast of the refined shoe. I used the same color red sock to keep things streamlined.

Outcome: I felt good in this. But I went back and forth on a belt. And I wasn’t satisfied without one. I’d worried that it would fight the simplicity and the way the eye goes to the red. But a burgundy croc belt, cinched and folded over, would add another texture and still feel relaxed. Actually as a color it would be very sophisticated against the red red and with the olive. Also, when I look at the photo, I don’t like what’s happening at the sleeve. The arms of the gray tee are too long/wide and loose to sit well under the bomber. This is a Tibi tee, and it’s great because it stands alone so well when you really want to “T-shirt down” a look in hot weather. As a layer, a slimmer arm works better.

What: Same Miu Miu jeans. Miu Miu bomber. At night: Tibi Artemis dress (Silver, on sale + a few sizes here. the black is on sale. Secondhand Old Celine clutch (this is a great secondhand iteration + here’s a mid-priced option from a brand I’ve bought before and liked a lot). Tibi Golly sandals w/black sparkly socks. No. 21 palm tree rhinestone earrings. A couple pairs left here.

Why: We were going out for a low-key NYE dinner at a place we know and love. I didn’t want to stand in front of my whole closet of options, so my mind went to an easy change to what I already had. Plus, I had yet to wear the dress (which I paid full-price for!). The Palm Tree earrings tracked back to the fanciful sequin animals on the dress; so it felt like a continuation. One detail I think really helped was closing the top of the bomber up.

Outcome: I liked the day outfit. The night outfit was 100% Lofted Settledness.

WEDNESDAY

Morning

What: Toteme silk cashmere crewneck as a scarf — on sale here … the silky version of a gray sweatshirt that’s become a security blanket. And another security blanket: The Tibi Winslow sweatpants. (I have M-S and I’m almost 5’6.) I am so addicted to these; I haven’t washed them. I refuse. I don’t know what to say; it’s emotional how calming they are to me. Hey Gang gray tee. Secondhand Miami hat from eBay. does anyone know anyone at eBay? This is a dream partnership for me. Secondhand Kelly 35. (Wow, this great one is on sale.) Loewe x ON sneakers (geez, sold out so many places, but some on Net!).

Why: I woke up really sad. Low energy. You know that tiredness that oddly you can even feel in your face? I had to force myself out or I thought I’d start to sink in too far. So I was like — comfortable shoes. Gray goes with gray. Too tired for SPF = hat. Some days are like that.

Outcome: I wanted to go buy a gift for a young friend. When they saw me in the shop, they knew I was sad. It’s ok. Shit happens. I felt respectable and real.

What: The same miracle pants. A Jonathan Anderson cotton top I bought on TRR (I wanted a cotton top with presence for hot days in Miami.) Old Chanel flats which go with a lot, surprisingly (these are a match). Secondhand Bottega belt bag (on shoulder) - good ring 3 nut color on sale here. Pearls handed down - these from my friend Sheila’s brand for $90 would totally do the trick, though.

Why: I figured I should put my planned outfit on, but I couldn’t get out of the sweatpants, TBH. But I was picking my parents up at the airport. I recently read an

Allison Bornstein

piece on leveling up cozy casual. I figured I’d use some refined pieces to level the sweats up. This was a last minute approach after sweating and making a mess in my closet. Just keeping it real.

Outcome: Lofted Settledness. I adored this. And yes, it DID up-level my mood, too. Not that that’s a requirement.

THURSDAY

Morning

What: Tibi Power Mesh skirt (I have Alo cropped leggings under) + Balenciaga men’s tee (you know I’m obsessed with these; they are my uniform — it’s the cotton and the swagger and the playfulness and the neckline and the sleeve length… here’s a good one). The heroic Balenciaga Rodeo. My new BFF Birks. And a rando secondhand old Barneys sweater I rely on a lot. This looks like a perfect comp. Saint Laurent Amelia glasses. I realize I like these a lot because they have personality without being so character-y. Also, that horizontal line gives breadth, if you’re a fellow peanut dainty head. (Also here if easy returns are more important than cheapest price.)

Why: Walking to a coffee shop to work pre workout. I use this skirt a lot in this way. The Birks are easy to walk in and also huck off to get on the mat. The black, gray and red felt too sharp alone, but the bridges of the burgundy bag and my sleeper hit V-neck calm it and keep it from being matchy.

Outcome: Lofted Settledness. Even if I didn’t smile.

Night

What: Tibi navy pleated pull on skirt (current version here + here … they do make THE BEST pleated skirts.) Tibi navy tuxedo shirt (oo - secondhand faux leather version?) Bottega Daniel Lee era ribbed gold shoes. (here’s a 7 … and a 9 and a 6. Sheer socks from Amazon. Black Old Celine clutch: Secondhand option is this + here’s a mid-priced option … Givenchy men’s tie from the Real Real … Here’s a Gucci one.

Why: I loved the dark tonal Bruce looks I found and knew I wanted to do a version when we went out to Cote for my dad’s birthday dinner. I also knew I wanted to walk - so the gold gave a color pop but is also a super walkable shoe.

Outcome: Lofted Settledness. It didn’t photograph well. Felt INCREDIBLE. I felt like I radiated something and we had a magical night. Even if there was a Tibi “sandwich”!

FRIDAY

What: Tibi pleated skirt. (xxs, anyone?) BTW if looking for an alt colored skirt to navy on current Tibi, I’d get the pull-on in Loden versus the ivory trouser skirt with the pleat attachment, which feels much higher maintenance. Margiela Tabi loafers with the back you can step on — I love this kind of shoe, which allows for size flexibility when feet swell, etc. This one is also really soft leather in back and between the toes, making it one of my comfiest shoes; I am over stiff loafers! Also, I use regular nylon socks with these and just create a “Tabi sock” by sticking my finger between the toe and then showing it in the shoe — works perfectly. What I like about these is how they make things feel modern, like a shorthand. A Margiela vest my friend

Irene Kim (김애린)

found for me (sold out, but here’s one NWT on eBay. Donni pointelle baby tee under (try code APOLOGIES20), which is a nice additional texture, good finished crewneck and keeps things slim under the big flappy vest (I have it unbuttoned; It also has buttons on each side.) Secondhand Hermes Victoria, because it’s SO LIGHT, holds a laptop and has no distracting hardware; wanted to keep the simplicity.

Why: Wanted to play with Bruce Willis’ iconic penchant for a V-neck sweater and a tee. I thought I would wear a black patent skirt with this top, but it was so sunny and bright when I got dressed that I swapped out the skirt. Something else that works about outfit planning. The simple swap.

Outcome: Lofted Settledness.

Had to share this ABMO moment. It was so cute because the sneakers are purple — they look black here. But I was just going for a walk after work and my mood was good, and I wanted clothes to be funny and reflect that. And since I didn’t need my laptop, I put my keys in the teeny sparkly bag, which always makes me happy.

SATURDAY

What: Trusty Balenciaga Rodeo. Tibi power mesh skirt, now on sale! Katie Kimmel Salad tee. My trusty CDC cardigan (I have a men’s medium). And the Yorky loafers I’m trying not to double up on but freaking love. And the SL glasses here.

Why: Morning workout and went out for work and breakfast first - and I don’t like to wear leggings out of the house; I feel too exposed. Everything was soft and harmonious so I thought it needed something off — hence the burgundy(ish) Rodeo.

Outcome: Lofted Settledness.

Afternoon

What: The Tibi Winslow sweatpants (at this point you’d have to pry them off my cold dead body). CDC cardigan. (Ok same.) Secondhand Prada sport polo from Veblen. Balenciaga Rodeo. The BFF Birks with gray socks. Renee sleeveless blazer from my friend Sheila’s brand LONOCO.

Why: Didn’t want to shower until dinner (hence the cap), and I took a walk to Upper Buena Vista, which is like a mini Tulum off the beaten path. Met dad for coffee and then lunch. The weather kept changing, so I wanted layers to manipulate and comfy shoes for the walk. I wanted the pearls and the leather blazer to bring some refinement to the sweatpants and ballcap.

Outcome: Lofted Settledness.

Night

What: The Toteme silky crewneck with white tee. Prada sleeveless blazer from I think last year. Dries tinsel top is sold out, but you could get the sparkle sweatshirt! Tibi black Sid jeans. Vintage Helmut Lang shoes from mom. Any lucky size 11? Similar version, size 38. Emme Parsons belt.

Why: OMG I need to tell you that I bought the second Tibi book after buying the first Tibi book. And then got so immersed in it that I left NO time to get ready for mom + dad double date. And then I couldn’t find what I planned to wear (a f*cking Tibi dress, obvs). So I took a deep breath and asked myself how I wanted to feel. Which was as if I were wearing jeans and a gray sweatshirt. So I put on a darker, date-y jean. And the Toteme thing, which is like an upscale sweatshirt, I tell you! The tinsel made it festive, but I didn’t want to be the most visible person there, so I added the vest over. And then I did that casual vegetable leather belt to chill the whole thing out.

Outcome: Lofted Settledness. This was my favorite look of the whole week.

SUNDAY

What: The Toteme silky crewneck with white tee. Miu Miu x New Balance sneakers. Dad’s old croc belt (like this). Hermes Kelly 35. Balenciaga trompe l’oeil “jeans.” I also tried on and love these sale Acne ones (also here … more sizes) and Rag + Bone has an even less expensive alt, which I’ve tried and can attest to. (Mom has the blue). Oliver Goldsmith Yatton glasses. Acne Studios sleeveless coat.

Why: What I call “Domino Dressing.” If you felt good the night before, pull out an idea/piece the next day too. The Toteme + white tee. Instead of jeans, since I was having a chill day, I went to these velvet trompe l’oeil “jeans” instead of jeans. I was walking too, so sneakers.

Outcome: Lofted Settledness.

It warmed up so I made this swap.

OUTFIT PLANNING

Next week: Fleshly Dressing. Let’s work with these ideas and inspo boards.

And then for the week after: “Three Bean Salad” dressing via Hannah Louise Poston.

Thanks so much for being here. It was a great week for dressing (how was yours?), and sometimes you have those just when you need them most.

XOXO,

Rachel

Note: (1) I am using affiliate links, and I do not use them lightly. I generally make some amount if you shop mine, but I do not look for a link until after I select an item so as to remain unbiased. Thank you for using these links to shop. Every little bit helps! And (2) I am in limited, special, and really particular ways working with a select group of partners. In both cases I had relationships with/had bought their things BEFORE we worked together. Including Pam Zamore and Dorsey and Riand 28.