What I wore all week: Deciding on JOY.

Yeah, I still get weepy. Still get worried. Still dread goodbyes. But there is a lot of good, and I'm alive, and I'm dressing for it.

Are you not very political? Same! Not very political. And if you’re wishing I never talked about politics, I do get that. Remember print magazines? Sometimes when reading, I’d be like “Ok, ELLE, enough already. This isn’t where I want to read about this stuff.” But I have to be authentic, and honestly it’s been on my mind, and it’s tied to how I dress. My biggest issue is reproductive freedom, that’s the one I care most deeply about. I am a regular Planned Parenthood contributor - that’s the organization that I direct deposit my donation to every month. That’s the issue that got me to march on Washington, even though I was a boy-crazy college kid. I believe this issue affects and impacts so many others. And I’ve HAD an abortion. (If it seems I say this casually, I am typing through tears.) I had a long term, year-plus boyfriend I trusted — we went to law school together; I had known him for over a decade when we dated long distance — and I got pregnant in spite of being told I couldn’t. This relationship was full of drama, and much later I finally figured out that he had lied and had been married the whole time. My story is a privileged one, hardly the true stories of unspeakable pain that happen every day. But today I would be tied to this horrible person for life if not for the fact that I was living in Massachusetts and had the right to control my body and my destiny.

When John McCain first came on the scene, I was IN AWE of his service to our country as a prisoner of war, showing so much courage. I thought he’d make an incredible president. And he supported choice! He said he’d counsel his kids against having an abortion, but it wasn’t for him to decide. I would have voted for that John McCain. Which is to say, to the woman who writes me acting like I’m some “raging liberal” — I have always considered myself a patriot. I MISS FEELING LIKE A PATRIOT.

The lows and division of the country have been heartbreaking for me. My loss of pride in America, in our flag. Hearing some of this irrational and invasive and shrill talk echoing in my ears as I try to sleep. The visuals of January 6, the attacks on police officers who serve us, the loss of life. All of it, I realize, has been part of making me feel really sad.

I am getting to the clothes — I swear it’s all related!

I felt, watching the DNC all week, that I get to be a patriot again. I felt that joy is possible again.

I don’t want to be minimized as a “childless cat lady” (remember, adoption doesn’t count). I don’t want to let these weird - and dangerous - people steal my heart and my country and my joy!

Something different is in the air. The sorrows are still there. Of course. But my heart feels just a little lighter. I feel freer to be myself and I feel ready to dress for joy. Here’s what I wore.

MONDAY

What: My Balenciaga men’s ripped tee (my exact one here, that’s part of my uniform. My Lonoco sweater. Tibi power mesh skirt. Alaia flats (TTS; if you have a wide foot and sometimes size up, size up). Same Jil Sander bag I’ve been wearing incessantly.

Why: Meeting my business partner and friend Susanne (she gave me this cool shell necklace) and also working, and so dressing up my uniform tee with a skirt that’s still pull on and comfy was an easy option. So was keeping it all tonal. And I was doing a week of “a little bit of sexiness” — this see through skirt gave me that in a very me way, and it’s why I didn’t do a sneaker this particular time.

Outcome: I felt kinda badass! Torn shirt! See through skirt! Someone bring me a Parliament! JK. Bring me my new Dorsey nose ring, I mean septum cuff! (B-day gift from mom and I am obsessed.)

TUESDAY

I actually wore this 3 different ways in changing weather during the course of the day. I wish I had a shot from the back, which was cool. The tank has an opening, and I added a black cropped tank/bralette thing-y under so you got a layering effect. See what I mean, below.

What: Vintage(?) leather (?) skirt from Capsool on Miami. Tibi Giselle tank top . Old And Other Stories black bralette. The Row nubuck sandals (here with charm; can’t find my old plain ones). The Jil bag again! LONOCO sweater. And on the right, old black mesh Helmut Lang turtleneck with piping.

Why: My idea here was explore “summer leather” as part of my week in “a little sexiness.” I think my leather was the unsexiest possible! You almost don’t know it’s leather. And the shape is so demure. But somehow knowing it IS leather (ish) made me feel like pushing my own boundaries, showing a little leg, exploring the open tank.

Outcome: I was singing Crimson and Clover all day long. YEAHHHHH …. ba da da da da da. I’m not such a sweet thing!