I wore a swim suit all week like an influencer to reality-check it

Verdict ... great on paper.

Let’s word associate with “bathing suit” for a moment, I’ll go first:

ass.

dimples.

ass dimples.

wardrobe malfunction.

single stall restroom nudity.

yeast infection.

wedgie.

I don’t like sunbathing. I don’t like athletic activities. Or water parks. For the most part, then, I have zero reason to get into a bathing suit.

They flood my mind with memories like my great grandmother requiring me to remove my bathing suit the minute it was wet, holding up a towel on the beach and having me change on the spot. Having to shop at “the lady store” for the pool party my crush was coming to.

So why then are all these influencers getting all creative with their swim suits? I resolved to find out if I’m I missing out by not multi purposing “swim” all week long.