She's brilliant and knowledgable! But my thing is -- why do we need to assert who and what is "good" taste and "bad" taste? Like if you pull back from that, what is gained? Johnathan Gold as a reviewer advanced the discourse around food and informed without needing to criticize in this way. "This empathy did not lessen his impact as a critic; on the contrary, it conferred a kind of superlegitimacy on him, as chefs knew that he knew what they were trying to do, even when they fell short." https://www.latimes.com/local/obituaries/la-me-gold-appreciation-20180721-story.html
Thanks Rachel - this is really good. Most of us love fashion but there is a "meanness" to it that I detest. I guess that's what designers have to do to get you to buy their clothes. I've heard our favorite style class teacher trashing "the real estate agent look" and "the flight attendent wardrobe". God forbid we don't follow "the rules".
Love your content, insights, writing, and candor. And the not so quiet emerald bracelet! Do you know where it is from? Also, some things are "common" because they are simply good. Levi's, cartier love bracelet, sambas, etc. and transcend trends and time.
Thank you for this. I’m glad people are discussing this, because judgement is hard enough to endure (and get resilient enough to start ignoring), quiet luxury just makes some of us feel like we have no chance. On a similar note (I think), I have a hard time absorbing/respecting content from stylists who insist that, for example, wearing sweatpants or yoga pants out is “giving up”. I get it, not for everyone, and I’m not usually impressed with myself when I do it, but seriously, back the F off. It’s so judgy and mean and unaware of (or refusing to recognize) what someone else’s life entails.
Excellent points made. You spelled out the red flags we hear in our head and pay no attention to. Your kindness comes through your style it is a great pleasure of mine to follow you and see what you have in store for us. Thank you 💕
Thank you for this! This “meanness” you speak of takes me back to high school and reminds me of how desperately I looked to the popular kids for validation of my fashion choices. I was crushed when one girl told me my Gloria Vanderbilt jeans were fake because she thought the logo didn’t look right. I’m on the other side of my insecurities now, but I never want to be THAT girl judging someone else. Your words are inspiring: we shouldn’t need to knock others down to feel good about ourselves.
I might be alone with this thought, but I appreciate it when designers or stylists (whose style I admire) flat out say what they don't like - helps me narrow down my choices. I used to collect printed blouses like there was no tomorrow, for instance, and felt off. Now I'm saving money and ignoring them. If I disagree with their opinions, then I'll ignore them and delight in the fact I feel confident enough to do so!
Nothing wrong with that -- I'd just say it should be phrased as what it is: personal preference. That's valuable too! But what I don't want to hear myself saying is "ewww, that looks awful, that ugly print." To me that acts as if I "know" more, am somehow superior to this person and that's douchey. When they might look at me and think -- you look so boring! It's subjective. I go back to the example Any Smilovic once gave -- Dolly Parton. She knows exactly who she is and dresses for it. It's not "my jam" -- but I can understand that without harshing on her style, and in fact, even loving that she dresses for exactly who she is.
Absolutely! No excuse to be rude. I personally don’t gain very much from the “Wear what you want” or “All you need is confidence in order to be well dressed” sort of advice. I’m probably going off topic at this point!
Right -- there is a vast expanse between "where what you want" and "this is what I prefer, enjoy... etc." I am going to share my opinions about what I love and what I don't gravitate toward of feel myself in. But they're just opinions. I want to be in a place where I remember that and genuinely feel it.
She's brilliant and knowledgable! But my thing is -- why do we need to assert who and what is "good" taste and "bad" taste? Like if you pull back from that, what is gained? Johnathan Gold as a reviewer advanced the discourse around food and informed without needing to criticize in this way. "This empathy did not lessen his impact as a critic; on the contrary, it conferred a kind of superlegitimacy on him, as chefs knew that he knew what they were trying to do, even when they fell short." https://www.latimes.com/local/obituaries/la-me-gold-appreciation-20180721-story.html
Thanks for such a nice note, Jen. And enjoy grandpas watches -- I love that.
The reason that I follow you online is because of the kindness that you demonstrate so naturally. And the joy you seem to carry as well!
Thank you for writing in such a considerate way :)
That is incredibly kind of YOU and much appreciated.
Thanks Rachel - this is really good. Most of us love fashion but there is a "meanness" to it that I detest. I guess that's what designers have to do to get you to buy their clothes. I've heard our favorite style class teacher trashing "the real estate agent look" and "the flight attendent wardrobe". God forbid we don't follow "the rules".
I really do not like that + think there are so many ways to inform without that MO.
I really enjoyed reading your perspective on this issue!
Thanks so much, my friend. Means a lot.
This! Yes, thank you. It's fucking clothes and adornment right, can't we leave the judgement behind?
Right? There's plenty of stuff that really needs our judgement.
Loved this.
Love your content, insights, writing, and candor. And the not so quiet emerald bracelet! Do you know where it is from? Also, some things are "common" because they are simply good. Levi's, cartier love bracelet, sambas, etc. and transcend trends and time.
I love that -- and what a great point. Ugh, I am missing this bracelet. I know it's somewhere. But it was bought used, real but no provenance. XX
Thank you for this. I’m glad people are discussing this, because judgement is hard enough to endure (and get resilient enough to start ignoring), quiet luxury just makes some of us feel like we have no chance. On a similar note (I think), I have a hard time absorbing/respecting content from stylists who insist that, for example, wearing sweatpants or yoga pants out is “giving up”. I get it, not for everyone, and I’m not usually impressed with myself when I do it, but seriously, back the F off. It’s so judgy and mean and unaware of (or refusing to recognize) what someone else’s life entails.
You're always serving up food for thought - I love that so much and I really enjoyed reading this piece.
Means a LOT, thank you.
Excellent points made. You spelled out the red flags we hear in our head and pay no attention to. Your kindness comes through your style it is a great pleasure of mine to follow you and see what you have in store for us. Thank you 💕
Oh wow, I'm very happy to read. Thank you.
Thank you for this! This “meanness” you speak of takes me back to high school and reminds me of how desperately I looked to the popular kids for validation of my fashion choices. I was crushed when one girl told me my Gloria Vanderbilt jeans were fake because she thought the logo didn’t look right. I’m on the other side of my insecurities now, but I never want to be THAT girl judging someone else. Your words are inspiring: we shouldn’t need to knock others down to feel good about ourselves.
Thank you for sharing that. I so agree. If we're not better humans than we were in high school that's kinda scary.
Love this so much… really resonates right now.
So glad to hear!
Big YES to this. "quiet luxury just makes some of us feel like we have no chance" -- THIS.
I might be alone with this thought, but I appreciate it when designers or stylists (whose style I admire) flat out say what they don't like - helps me narrow down my choices. I used to collect printed blouses like there was no tomorrow, for instance, and felt off. Now I'm saving money and ignoring them. If I disagree with their opinions, then I'll ignore them and delight in the fact I feel confident enough to do so!
Nothing wrong with that -- I'd just say it should be phrased as what it is: personal preference. That's valuable too! But what I don't want to hear myself saying is "ewww, that looks awful, that ugly print." To me that acts as if I "know" more, am somehow superior to this person and that's douchey. When they might look at me and think -- you look so boring! It's subjective. I go back to the example Any Smilovic once gave -- Dolly Parton. She knows exactly who she is and dresses for it. It's not "my jam" -- but I can understand that without harshing on her style, and in fact, even loving that she dresses for exactly who she is.
Absolutely! No excuse to be rude. I personally don’t gain very much from the “Wear what you want” or “All you need is confidence in order to be well dressed” sort of advice. I’m probably going off topic at this point!
Right -- there is a vast expanse between "where what you want" and "this is what I prefer, enjoy... etc." I am going to share my opinions about what I love and what I don't gravitate toward of feel myself in. But they're just opinions. I want to be in a place where I remember that and genuinely feel it.
I totally relate to your “collecting printed blouses” comment 😂.
Misery loves company!
https://open.substack.com/pub/subrinaheyink?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android I hope it's OK to post this, but Subrina wrote an article on "Good Taste" - more food for thought on the matter!