Reader request: How to use a handbag to create friction: 3 experts, 12 tips

Been a lot of talk about friction around these parts! (Hi

Midimalist

! Hi

Tiia VM

!) But nothing I can think of that addresses handbags as the “wrong” in the outfit.

Allison Bornstein

mentioned the idea to me as an adjunct to her often cited “wrong shoe theory.” I thought this was such an interesting question, and I wanted to call in some experts to unpack it with me.

I knew my friend, the creative director and stylist Tess Bruns (@phoebephilofan) would help, and she framew the whole thing so well. “Creating friction could be swapping a clutch with a canvas or technical fabric tote when wearing a dressier look” she says. “Or, along these same lines, pair a structured outfit with an unstructured slouchy bag or vice versa. You can also add friction to an outfit using a handbag that’s a bit strange or unexpected with your overall look — something that’s different in color, texture, or style.”

No let’s get into it a little more. (Is there a handbag analogy here? Dig into it like there’s a mini Recees cup at the bottom of a capacious duffle?)

Pros + cons

The biggest pro is ease. Adding a bag might just be the simplest way to bring friction into an outfit. Why? Because you can just 1) create an outfit you feel good about, then 2) ask yourself how it feels, what adjective best describes it. And then 3), without taking any clothes off, add a bag that works as the antonym to that adjective you just came up with. Boom!

And another other pro: The risk of the contrast feeling too stark/random (if that’s a thing YOU consider a risk!) is lessened because a) there’s more subtlety and less worry about choppiness because there’s less expectation for a bag to truly feel part of the outfit largely because of geography (shoes sit right next to pants, shirt touches pants, etc.) and if you feel weird about it later, you can just take it off!

In a way, though, that’s also the con. If the coolness of the outfit for you relies on the friction of the bag, what happens when the bag comes off? (Same analysis I’d have with a coat.) But I’ll talk about working around that.

Let’s proceed. Basically, you’ve got three ways to go with the friction-y bag. Up, down. Or wildcard.

Going up. A bag that’s “too” elevated.

I deploy this first option A LOT. It’s part of my uniform. I lean into casual menswear pieces. And so the friction naturally comes in the form of refined, more ladylike bags. The pieces I go for are also very sporty/street-y, so sometimes the bag is still relatively louche/casual but then it’s still going to be very luxury in its elements, e.g. lush leather vs. canvas.

Same idea. Big casual shorts/tee, big casual shoe, the bag more luxurious, more ladylike in shape.

Here’s someone whose style I really admire doing the same thing. Chris, of chucksandchanel on IG is amazing (I want to write more about her soon). Her handle alone is what this story’s all about, and I believe it’s her influence that started me wearing BIG with BIG.

Big streets pieces get contrast with a ladylike Birkin.

You’ll notice in both looks above we are using some unity of color. That makes the whole thing less contrast-y (that mullet consideration — feel free to care or ignore). In a very different way, my friend Rose does this “going up” approach a lot too, in her weekend looks especially.

Here, the gold bag is completely unexpected with the neutral prep-casual pieces. It all looks “luxury” - but the shorts/loafers read daytime prep and the bag reads nighttime glitz, which shows you there’s irony to her “prep.”

Same idea; sequins screwing with the masc/prep proceedings

And here, it’s not poisoning the casual with dressy — rather it’s poisoning the accessible/lowkey-ness with some bougie luxury. The Birks, relatively simple white top, cap and flowy skirt would all be at home working a yogurt stand at a farmer’s market. The luxury of the Vuitton bag is the perfect foil. It also shows you how the friction can be executed in different degrees. Because the bag is a real “leather” color and a big drawstring shape, it is less high contrast with these pieces. Still casual. She can shop the farmer’s market in this. Versus Rose’s looks above, where the contrast is turned higher.

For bags that go against casual looks: sequin, metallic, furry, satin.

Going down. A bag that’s “too” casual.

This is what Tess was saying with “swapping a clutch with a canvas or technical fabric tote when wearing a dressier look.” And this take is one I rarely try (if ever! opportunity!). Huh. Well, actually I kind of do, but not in a high risk way. Let me explain.

What immediately comes to mind is using some sort of canvas bag, not just to schlep things you pick up on a weekend errand run, but as an intentional foil to dressier outfit elements.

As above, this is one you can do to degrees. I’ll kick things off with another Rose look.

Here, Rose is in her pretty feminine pieces. The silver ballet flat. The flowiness of the skirt and top and the fact that they match. If she had pretty clutch, she could be quite dressed up. Using a simple canvas market tote is perfect casualizing friction.

I haven’t tried, say, a suit with a canvas bag, but sometimes I’ve used a casual tote with a suit. Generally on rainy days for practicality. I’ll take my Issey Miyake Bao Bao bag or Tibi’s PVC tote. And more frequently, I’ll use my trusty woven tote to kind of chill things out.

Above, both pieces look pretty “work-y” / tailored. I have bags that would match that spirit and coordinate well (like a black leather top handle tote). But I liked this one not only for the additional texture but specifically for the way it loosens things up a little. Makes me feel less corporate.

Straw bags here and here. Canvas ones here and here and here. And here. Cotton here. PVC here and here.

A bag that’s just … wrong

Apart from a bag that takes a look up or down, there’s also what

Allison Bornstein

pointed out to me about a Marni market bag I have with all sorts of random colors. A bag that’s just so sort of wrong or weird is somehow so good with so much! I think a color you don’t often turn to can often be part of it. Says Tess, whose colors often circle sophisticated neutrals and Tibi Ring 3s/my “bridge” colors, “I have a yellow snakeskin clutch that doesn’t really go with anything, and for that reason, it goes with a lot!”

Color friction: Tess and her snakeskin bag

There’s no end to how far you can pull this thread. Just ask Perry Joachin of Marni, in his words, “exotic olive oil taster by day, and Marni ambassador by night.” Here was his take when I DM’d him: “Outward self expression comes in many forms, and for me I believe your bag is the biggest opportunity to showcase that. I love a simple tailored outfit with an insane handbag that poses the most peculiar gazes when noticed. I’m all for the funky shaped ones, from Louis Vuitton’s fruit pouches and the late Virgil Ablohs airplane bag, to JW Anderson and their whimsical clutches. And of course, Marni and the use of calf hair Prisma duffle bag. I strongly praise form over function on any occasion, so why not go with the most obscure bag?” (dm Perry about Marni bags and clothes and more.)

Grace Molina, Tibi Stylist (check her out on IG, her “Outfit Time” series in highlights are my favorite), put it this way: ”I’m all about irony, so I often reach for textures and offbeat elements that shake things up … furry options, dyed pony hair, unconventional colors, and organic elements — they all help strike a chord with my edgier pieces. I love finding something that will juxtapose in even the silliest of ways. It’s all about having fun and keeping things unexpected.”

Here’s one that proves the point: My friend Madeline has all kinds of expensive bags, but her red lips bag was “$14 at the New York Vintage Fair and I wear it all the time.”

If wrong is right, in way, the most wrong it is … the most practical. You never have to think “does this cookie monster blue bag work with this outfit?”

One more (charming) item

Also, if you don’t want to swap a casual bag in with a corporate/refined/serious look, you can do it with bag charms. Foil serious with ironic (say, a banana charm), dressy with boho (beads, thread/knots), citified or prep with island-y (palm tree, rope bracelet) etc. Actually, the reverse might even work too, like a refined, old fashioned luggage tag on something canvas. This is all low commitment, often lower cost, ripe for experimentation! My friend

Liz McKay

has a good primer on charm-wearing.

And here’s Rose again, headed to work but taking her refined box leather bag down a notch with bandanas and nautical rope-y things.

Funny charms: colorful pom pom, soy sauce, diet coke, bananas with faces. And rope-y things.

The gist + the tips